The Sunday Telegraph

Bionic accountants scupper the bid

A bizarre letter has landed on the desk of Lord Coe, the chairman of London's Olympic bid. "I am writing to offer a suggestion that I feel could be instrumental in bringing success to your ongoing bid for London to host the 2012 Games," it begins.

"It has struck me that your proposed list of sports is perhaps a little too conventional and would benefit from the 'addition' of a sport that is novel, cuttong edge and exciting to watch. I refer of course to extreme accounting."

Eh? "As I am sure you are aware, this is the very latest form of physical (*and fiscal) endeavour, injecting all the adrenaline rush of book-keeping into the otherwise mundane world of adventure sports," it gushes on drawing the lithe Lord's attention to a website showing action pics of accountants from Royal Bank of Scotland, Investec and Quest International - who are to be seen crunching numbers while diving, snowboarding and in freefall.

A little more digging and we discover that Extreme Accounting is acquiring cult status. This very day, teams of accountants from Cadbury Schweppes, HSBC, Michael Page, Jaguar, Land Rover and BMI are clashing in the Midlands in the 2005 Extreme Accounting Corporate Challenge.

So what does Coe make of this cry for help? "Lord Coe has seen the letter," an assistant tells us. "Unfortunately it's up to the International Olympic Committee which sports receive accreditation. but I'm sure he will refer it on to them."

Oh well, it's all over. London's bid is truly scuppered. And, as usual, we can blame the blessed accountants.

Rob Watts, The Sunday Telegraph, 19th June 2005